256 Shades of Grey

Addicted!

2011-07-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

I am addicted to the rain:

the melancholic intoxication of -
the conspiring air;
the flickering lightning;
the ravening rumbling thunder;
the soft grey sky;
the sweet hard raindrops
on the needy earth;

As I stand by and experience:

the heightened feeling -
of water caressing my body,
soaking my bones,
washing away my problems and
cleansing my soul;
of cold black night;
of dark denial;
of being someone else
in some other world;

I want to be free, I so want to be free...

A tribute to the white lily

2011-06-05T04:19:00.000-07:00

I've always had a thing for white lilies. But only after the white orchid, for which I'll dedicate a post later. Currently, it's the white lily which has my attention. It all began with white lilies becoming a regular feature in my room, thanks to Spiderman who has probably taken a break from being a crime fighter!

A Greek legend says that the white lily is a symbol of innocence, of that who doesn’t know what the danger is. Is it then symbolic of being vulnerable and innocent? Only Spiderman knows!

Why have i started liking them so much? They are truly beautiful and a marvelous creation at that, mostly white representing purity, elegance and peace. The best part is that they last long, endlessly pulling you into the future. These trumpet shaped flowers are used in weddings as well as funerals. At weddings, the white flowers which show clarity and innocence represents the wedding and the beautiful bride. In funerals, they express and transmit the most sincere sympathy sentiments.

When placed in the corner of my room, they instantly transform the room lending a certain character to the place I love. Thank you Spiderman.

With that tribute to the white lily, here's my very first brush with painting. Don't judge me. Like i just said, it's my first. I used some dried watrecolors, dried brushes and paper from Ankita's abandoned art materials. Hope they look like lilies:)

The real person is dying!

2011-02-05T09:27:00.000-08:00

I hate automated customer service. It's alright when I want basic information like account balance, delivery date and things like that.

But more often than not, I call customer service because I have a problem. That is the time when I want to get to someone soon and talk to someone real. But when was the last time you got a real person on the phone? It's mostly about listening to voice messages in three different languages, annoying advertisements, pressing 1,2,3... in several layers. It doesn't seem to have much to do with either customer or service.

Customer service has always been around. Twenty years ago we didn't have call centres and IVR systems. What we had was a phone number where we spoke to a real person or an office address where we could meet people in flesh and blood. Today, all we have are automated choices for a limited set of problems.

When it comes to dealing with customers, it’s all about human psychology. Even where the problem is the same, different customers need to be dealt with differently depending on their mood, state of mind, urgency etc. A computer just doesn't understand human idiosyncrasies.

Despite the importance of involving psychology in customer service practices, why are businesses totally neglecting it? Is it only about cost? What about making the customer feel secure and comfortable? How about taking care of customer anxieties? Especially, in a field where not much is stereotype, why are solutions designed as if they are stereotype. I just don't get it.

I don't mind the idea of self-service but when i am stuck, I want a face and a name. I want a real person!

Did you know? - The Art of Champagne Sabrage!

2010-10-29T23:55:00.000-07:00

Sabrage is a technique for opening a champagne bottle with a sabre, used for ceremonial occasions. The saber is slid along the body of the bottle toward the neck. The force of the blade hitting the lip breaks the glass to separate the collar from the neck of the bottle. The cork and collar remain together after separating from the neck

There are several legends of the story of Sabrage or Sabering Champagne. One says that when the officers of Napoleon’s army returned home after a victory, cheering townspeople would hand bottles of Champagne as tokens of their appreciation for their victory and gallantry. Since the soldiers were mounted on horseback it was
difficult to hold the reins of the horse and remove both the foil, wire basket (muselet) around the cork and the cork (bouchon) at the same time, so the soldiers simply took out their sabers and struck it against the lip of the bottle with an upward blow and sabered off the cork. Voilà!

Here's a step by step illustration of how its done -

1. A chilled bottle of champagne (45-48°F or 7-8°C) is taken and the the foil on top of the bottle is removed to reveal the cork and wire basket

2. The wire basket around the cork is carefully removed.

3. The bottle is held firmly, neck pointing up about 30 degrees

4. Now, the sabre is held against the seam of the bottle and firmly slid up against the glass ring at the top.

5. The cork and glass ring fly away dramatically

When performed correctly, the cork and glass ring will fly away, spilling little of the precious wine and leaves a neat cut on the neck of the bottle

Go try! Caution: Careful though as we do not want any accidents around or any shards of glass in the champagne!

Khari and chai

2010-02-04T09:07:00.000-08:00

The perfect start to my imperfect mornings. This has been my routine for the past few months but it is only of late that i realized how much i need the khari with the chai. Chai is not chai anymore without khari. I hate mornings when i have run out of khari. Tried regular toast, suji toast, soup sticks instead. Nothing compares or even comes close.

Getting the perfect khari is not easy. Some are hard and not quite the melt in your mouth variety. Some khari leave a sticky residue on the palette of the mouth. Some are too powdery (of theres a word like that), some too small and some too big while some come in ridiculous flavors. The best khari is available in the old time bakeries like the ahura bakery. I really can't make a trip all the way there for my regular khari needs. Among the branded ones, my favorite is the Baker Street Traditional Khari in plain maska, jeera and methi flavors. They also have the twist khari. I don't like. Just FYI Bakers Street is an ISO-22000 certified product of India:)

Finding the perfect khari is only half the journey. There is more.

The chai cannot be ignored in this tamasha. It plays an important part. My perfect chai for the khari cannot have too much milk, not too much sugar, got to have generous amount of tea leaves. The perfect chai should be hot but not piping hot.

Now comes the part where the khari has to be dipped into the chai. The dip has got be enough but not too much. Enough for the chai to soak in but the crispness of the khari to be retained. The justenoughdipped khari has to find its way to the mouth almost immediately, leaving as little crumbs in the chai as possible. The point where the chaisoakedbutcrisp khari meets the mouth is when experience begins to get divine. Mmmmmm!

The rest of the day can be, and is more often than not, duckall!

Sorry haan, Venky

2009-10-16T02:44:00.000-07:00

Nobel laureate Venkatraman Ramakrishnan has expressed disenchantment with people from India "bothering" him "clogging" up his email box and dubbed as "strange" their sudden urge to reach out to him.
What is so strange about the "sudden" urge to reach out to him? Has he not suddenly won the Nobel Prize? It is not like nothing happened and it was just another day and all these kaalu Indians are sending him emails from all the corners of the country. That would be strange....and sudden!!
And it appears, he wants nothing to do with being Indian. He may have spent all his professsional life abroad but with a name like Ventraman Ramakrishnan, he will have to work reeealllly hard to get himself disconnected with the country:)

Venky: "Do these people have no consideration? It is OK to take pride in the event, but why bother me?"
How to take pride without letting anyone know!?! And what does he mean by "why bother 'me' "...who else to bother? Clearly, we can't be sending random mails to random people in India or elswhere who have not won any prize

Venky: "All sorts of people from India have been writing to me, clogging up my email box. It takes me an hour or two to just remove their mails"
Poor guy, i can actually imagine him being harrowed with the deluge of emails. It not easy to sift through the pile. But what is all "sorts' of people? How can all the people be of one sort? And even if they were of one sort, how does it matter to him? He would still spend an hour or two to remove their mails.

Venky: "There are also people who have never bothered to be in touch with me for decades who suddenly feel the urge to connect. I find this strange"

Again, what is this "suddenly" business? For God's sake he just won the Nobel Prize! I can't help imagining that one sunny day people got this internal urge to reach out to a particular Venkatraman Ramakrishnan!!!

For someone who has won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry, clearly scientist Venkatraman is sorely lacking chemistry - the chemistry between him and the people of a country who are plain simple happy at his victory.

Sorry haan, Venky...but we Indians are like that only!

PS: Personally, I do understand his agony. In his profession, people tend to be reclusive. Besides he is no media celebrity who is used to handle this kind of attention. Only, he could have been careful in his choice of words. It would have saved him a lot of distress.

Uniquely Singapore....No Durian Please

2009-07-28T08:01:00.001-07:00

- It's a country! It's a city! It's an island!

- It's just not funny how well they dress up and how much they eat out!!! The food - it's the best part of Singapore. Plenty, Diverse and Everywhere!

- Somehow, I don't remember being given a napkin in any restaurant.

- And how much they travel!!!....i mean, Singapore is just this big!!!

- Their English is so Singlish lah. Ya!

- It's not that much of a party place...I know, there's Clarke Quay, Boat Quay and all. The govt is pushing but its not enough:) After all its modeled after Switzerland which has never been a party place.

- Its not that much of a creative place either. They could name their food creatively rather than literally. Fish Head Curry, Pig organ soup ...what is THAT!!

- Singapore is so organized. There is the business district, there is the mall area, the residential area....like each is area is separate and specialized.

- Its probably the safest place in the world....Ya!

- Landscaping is a serious profession here..every bit of Singapore is landscaped. Their govt sure must have loads of money.

- If there is something like goodest governance, it's here...it's here...it's here

- Singapore is squeaky clean....like antiseptic!

- Then there is the durian fruit stench...smells like our jackfruit only several times stronger. It's so pungent, it is banned on the subway and at hotels. Even buses have signs that warn: No smoking, No eating or drinking, No flammable goods and No durians! Really!

- Mangosteen, Rambutan, Longaan are some of the fruits you get here.

- There is a part of India wherever you go. Singapore is no different. They have little India and you would know when you're there!

- Ya and there's a rather popular train station called Dhobi Ghaut...i'm not sure of the history of the name though

- Traffic is so well behaved and civil....cars look brand new - not a dent, not even a scratch!

- It's a strict place...no littering, no jaywalking etc etc. Elevators claim there is a urination detection device installed!!! Yes! And as most of us know, it's illegal to chew gum in the country. Prostitution, however, i think is legal. Please don't chew gum while at it:)

- All in all, it's a fine country...it's into laws and fines:)

Iniside The Mind Of the Man In The Mirror

2009-07-02T09:50:00.001-07:00

I’ve always been curious about Micheal Jackson’s life. I wondered how long he could go on the way he did. I mean the fall from fame, the fall from grace and the numerous cosmetic surgeries, several ailments, the craving for anonymity, the eccentricities, the loneliness…

At one level, I know, it does sounds like he brought it upon himself but think about it….he was a celebrity who grew to be iconic. He was a child prodigy…a musical genius. His music was catchy and popular. His dance complicated and a treat to the eyes. He was extraordinary and successful - millions of record sales worldwide, the worlds best selling album of all time, thirteen grammy awards, super entertainer, genius artist and quite a business man. Almost everyone everywhere in the world across generations knows who MJ is. In my house everyone from my mother-in-law to my daughter know who Michael Jackson is. My daughter also knows his music. He was at his height of popularity when I was in college. College kids used to practice the moonwalk outside college corridors and just about anywhere. All young boys tried their hands at break dance at the risk of damaging their bones. Popular, he still is! The extent of his fame is unsurpassed. After Elvis, it will have be MJ.
I don’t think MJ ever knew what ordinary was. He was a performer at the tender age of 6 which means it probably took away his childhood. In his growing years and for a long time thereon he was the King of Pop. Think about this - fans almost worshipping you, thousands drawing inspiration, millions and millions of fans from all over the world screaming for you, rooting for you and loving your music, imitating you…the whole nine yards. When celebrity hood reaches these levels, it is extremely difficult to be grounded. You don’t deal with normal everyday people with commonplace problems on a daily basis. You are so far away and disconnected from the ‘real’ world (real here meaning the ordinary life majority of us lead), making so much money that you can’t manage. You deal with people with their own agendas almost all the time - financial advisors wanting a huge share of your money, record labels cashing in your name, producers wanting a sell out album, girlfriends wanting to use your name to make it big, spouses wanting more than half your money and so on and so on. These people will, when you have the money and fame, be prepared to do anything for you, rarely defy you and make you believe you are GOD.

With all the attention and global limelight, it’s easy to get confused by who you are versus the larger than life media image. Think about it enough, and you will realize that the mind and thoughts of these mega super celebrities will alter dramatically. It is perhaps this alteration of the mind that made MJ do things he did - the bizzare personal life, the multiple cosmetic surgeries, huge shopping sprees for toys and antiques, the lavish lifestyle. It also kind of explains his eccentricities – the chimp friend, the child in him, the belief that he is Peter Pan, showing up in a burqa in Bahrain, appearing in LA with his three children, their faces masked, his own covered with a handkerchief. And then the fall…I cannot imagine how his fall from fame must have affected him. When you have all the adulation for years and then suddenly realize that you don’t have any of that, you want to try all it takes to get it back. No one but MJ will know the turmoil that went through in the mind and body when trying to deal with, first the extreme adulation and an equally extreme downfall. MJ perhaps believed that he could get it all back….and he tried. He explored almost every option possible or even impossible - looking like a white man, changing his religion, marrying white women, a reclusive existence, settling someplace faraway in Bahrain, creating a fantasy land, trying to resurrect his career. That mind! It must be some kind of hell to live out that mind and be judged by millions!!!

In death, the mind must have calmed! May it rest in peace!

Everyone has a story

2007-10-28T10:41:00.000-07:00

If you think about it you'll realize that everyone has a story. At least everyone I know has a story. A story, which if you read in the books, you might think of it as fiction. But it’s real and it’s out there. Some people have had difficult or impoverished childhood and have gone ahead and made it big in their prime years. Some have battled serious illness and come out trumps. Some are climbing the ladder real fast and getting dizzy in the head. Some have gone through bitter divorces and are still holding grudge. Some are unhappy in their own skin and want to be someone else. Some have resigned to their fate and believe in existentialism. Some have been through intense relationships and break-up thereafter resulting in permanent un-doable damage. Some are about to marry and not sure whether they still love the person and whether marriage is the right thing to do after all. Some have got babies and trying every day to be the man they need to be. Some are single and will probably remain single for as long as forever. Some are in the hospital not knowing when they will breathe their last. Some are married to someone in paper but someone else in mind. Some are unfortunately caught in legal battles not knowing which way the verdict will swing. Some are pursuing the wrong subject and flunking year after year after year resulting in low self esteem only to be at the receiving end of disappointed parents. Some have topped their class and made their parents proud. Some are stuck in jobs they don’t like and can’t change. Some have given it their all to the companies they work for only to be shown the door very coldly when they weren’t performing. Some have parents who have given up on them. Some have moved out of their parents to make it on their own.

Every person you meet or come across - the waitress taking your order , the counter staff tendering change, the driver in the car overtaking you, the milkman, the garbage guy – they all have compelling stories. The actor in front of the camera enacting a story has his own away from the arch lights. Even the dead have stories. When you realize that everyone has a story, it might just change the way you think about people and treat people.

What a Life (A Dog's Life, that is)!

2007-09-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

Oprah Winfrey is leaving $30 million (Rs 120 crore) to her dogs in her will. The billionaire celebrity talkshow host has four pets pooches and has already set up a trust fund to take care of them should anything happen to her.

A source told Australia’s Woman’s Day magazine, “Oprah has a menagerie of animals and she wants them to be pampered for the rest of their lives if she were to die first. “She has four dogs, plus various other pets, so she rewrote her will to include millions for their care”

She has two Cocker Spaniels, Sophie and Soloman, and two Golden Retrievers.

Every dog indeed has his day!

Rahul Done-it

2007-09-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, he done it. He stepped down. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Except in this case, Humpty Dumpty was ‘the wall’ and of course, he didn’t fall. He stepped down.

I don’t watch cricket. I have little knowledge about the game which is a religion in the country. But I have an opinion, a pretty strong one in that, about the leadership issue. In my opinion, to begin with, Rahul Dravid wasn’t the suitable captain. I think it’s because of the kind of person that he is. He looks like the nice-boy-topper-in-class year after year, who does that ‘one’ thing predicably well – studies, batting and the like. You could argue that for the longest time he kept the wickets as well as batted and did both well. But then, that’s just two (not that it’s easy). Captaincy, however, is a different ball game altogether. It requires multi-tasking. Stress got the better of Dravid. He tried his best while he was at it but couldn’t take it anymore. Dravid also looks like the kind of person who needs to be right all the time and having a good image is very important to him. Such people take criticism personally. Captaincy, however, is a different ball game altogether:) You can’t let criticism get to you. Of late, the criticisms started coming Dravid's way. Especially the declaration decision at the test match last month. Things started getting difficult for him.

Dravid’s problem was that he played too safe, kept a distance from the team, didn’t bring a distinct ‘Dravid’ personality to the team. He finally ended up quitting. There’s no shame in that. To be fair to him, he was responsible for quite a few wins for Team India.

It is not easy being the skipper of a cricket team. Much harder being the skipper of a South Asian cricket team. Compound that for the Indian cricket team. There’s the BCCI, the team politics, the coach-captain relationship, the camps to contend with. The most difficult part however, is the mega expectations of the one-billion-one-hundred-twenty-nine-million-eight- hundred-sixty-six-thousand-one- hundred-and-fifty- four people with no other sport (except in the movies lately) taking even a fraction of the responsibility. Imagine the pressure! As if all this wasn’t enough, there’s the media .

Now, we have no captain. We also don’t have a coach. We may soon have no cricket. It’s like the 3 C’s of the game (Damn, the mba classes are getting to me!). I like Sourav Ganguly for captain. He has the most important quality required to be the Indian Cricket Team Captain. A super thick skin. He also has the resilience. He fell down, brushed off the dust, let the wound heal and got right back into action. He was very successful in his stint as captain. He led India in 49 Test Matches, winning 21 of those, including 12 of them outside India. All three figures are records for Indian Test captains. Despite the dip in his batting performance, he still has an average to be proud of (his average never dipped below 40 runs per innings for his entire Test career) and a number of centuries to his credit. He is an aggressive player. Get him back. In any case, there’s no one else. Sachin is no captain material, Dhoni too inexperienced, besides, it may damage his game, Yuvraj, I don’t know, Sehwag’s not predicable. I say once again, bring Sourav on. Expect him to lead well. Don’t expect him to play very well – that responsibility can be given to Sachin, Dravid, Yuvraj, Dhoni, Uttappa. The only problem is that, this cannot be a long-term plan. So what!

The thing about new books...

2007-06-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

that makes me want to buy them...what is it? I love book stores. I love the smell of new books. I have seldom returned from a book store without buying a book. The sad truth, however, is that most times I end up NOT reading them or only half reading them. The only explanation I have for this is that i'll buy the books now when I have the money but no time to read them so that I can read them later when i have the time but no money!

I wonder how many people read all the books they buy.

Some of the reasons why people buy books

- they buy books for "intellectual credibility" of the Bookshelf" and have no intention of actually reading them

- far too often people are buying books because they think they will be good for them, rather than because they think they'll enjoy them

- there are certain books that everyone buys because the whole world has read them

- half of the top 10 non-fiction books people buy but don't read are autobiographies

So, what are your reasons for buying a book?

The newspapers need a diet

2007-05-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

Circa nineteen ninety-six. My first travel outside the country (second, if Nepal counts). The U S of A. It’s the little things that get your attention. Among many such little things, it was the size of the newspaper that drew my attention. Big, fat USA today. Too heavy to hold in one hand. Back then in India all we had, if i remember right, was a few pages of Times of India (yes, I read the Times of India and am not ashamed of it. Well, I’m not proud of it either:-p). BT wasn't even born. Page 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 didn't even exist.

Cut to today! India is seen going the US way. We are inundated with fatter and fatter newspapers. Too much junk is being shoved into them. Too many topics and too many words. Too many special sections. They have no respect for our busy lives. I wonder how they come up with all this news. I can’t come up with a decent 250 words to blog, for crying out loud. I think the future of newspapers is to compact compelling new information (news behind the news). When are they going to learn?

The biggest side effect of this obesity is raddhi disposal. These raddhi disposal cycles are getting shorter and shorter. Which means almost every second weekend I have to remember to call the raddhi wala. This, among the zillion other weekend-end activities that are competing for time.

I am suffering RDS or Raddhi Disposal Syndrome. New age illness this! Our newspapers need to go on a diet . That's the only cure!

...like what it is about England

2007-04-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

...like you see winter jackets all over the place - cropped leather bomber jacket, retro coats, polar fleece jackets, army style jacket, ski jackets, biker jackets, waterproof jackets, hooded jackets, snowboard jackets, ... i could go on

...like cycling is a hobby gone serious

...like drinking is a religion and there's no stopping

...like there is so much black around that you yearn for color

...like the weather is as unpredicatble as my moods. There's an old saying, "if you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes"

...like i think this is the only country in the world where the guys are better looking than the gals. I haven't been to Italy yet!

...like you need a 3-square-pin adapter

...like i don't think there's too much to English cuisine other than fish n chips. Okay.. Pie and Pudding. Thats it

...like there was a serpentine long queue to get into Primark and huge frenzy of bargain hunters clambering over each other inside. I thought that happened only at Big Bazaar in India!

...like if you are in London, you'd never miss the crowd in Bombay - thousands of heads bobbing up and down in the vast sea of homo sapiens

...like rail engineering work on holidays and long weekends is commonplace. I am beginning to believe they do it more out of habit than out of need

Guru Gyaan

2007-03-29T11:31:00.000-07:00

Dr. NAKAMATS

Who Is This Dude?
Dr NakaMats is an inventor extraordinaire. He has many inventions to his credit and claims he invented the floppy disk, one of the greatest inventions of information age, way back in 1950. He is described as the Edison of Japan. Thomas Edison patented 1093 inventions. NakaMats already has over 3000. At 79, Dr. NakaMats says he's only halfway to his goal of dreaming up 6,000 innovations by the time he shuffles off this mortal coil, which, according to his research, should be at age 144. He spends little time sleeping -- only four hours a day -- and less on food, limiting himself to one 700-kilocalorie meal, the elements of which are carefully selected to enhance his brain power. He photographs every dish he eats to recall the stimulating ones, and says his research indicates that a regimen of proper diet, teetotalism, exercise, sex, and spiritual training will keep him alive until 2072.

What Makes Him Cool?
At 5, he did his first invention which was an automatic gravity adjustment equipment. At 15, he invented the pump. He won the IG Nobel prize for his research in finding the best possible food to eat that keeps the body healthy and the brain fit. Dr. NakaMats believes that a lack of oxygen is very important to trigger an invention. He uses this in a very dangerous manner. To come up with an invention, he dives into water with a water proof writing pad (also invented by him) and remains under the surface of water till he experiences a flash of creativity. He gets such a flash just 0.5 secs before death. He quickly writes this down on the writing pad. Another method that he uses to come up with ideas are his two rooms – the calm room and the dynamic room. The calm room is made of natural wood and stone, and without nails because they reflect thinking. It keeps noise and electromagnetic fields away. The black and white dynamic room has special video and audio equipment and high-powered speakers that blare jazz and Beethoven's Fifth to refine his ideas. At first, he enters the calm room to erase all noises inside his brain. Then he goes to the dynamic room, listening to music, looking at pictures. At this time his brain is running to create a new idea. He goes back and forth between the two rooms trying to create ideas.

What is the theory of “The Pagoda of Creativity”?
According to Dr. NakaMats theory, the base for everything is a strong spirit, followed by a strong body, hard studies, experience and finally leads to a “trigger” experience. You “trigger” a bullet which contains spirit, body, study and experience - and finally that releases the actual invention.

BORN June 16, 1928, in Japan

WORKS
Claimed invention of the floppy disc.
The Jumping Jax shoes with springs in the soles to prevent the jarring effect of jogging, The Love Jet aphrodisiac
The Cerebrex brain-enhancer chair
PyonPyon flying shoes which allow the wearer to leap into air with minimal effort

COOL QUOTES
“Genius lies in developing complete and perfect freedom within a human being. Only then can a person come up with the best ideas”

Look up the net for more on the ‘mad’ scientist.

Money v/s Relationship

2007-03-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

On to hsbc again....

The other day I get this call from hsbc. The voice at the other end started without any warning whatsoever, “I am Arvind calling on behalf of hsbc bank. I am your new Relationship Manager …blah.. some more blah.. we will arrange for someone to come and speak with you”. HSBC knows I have relationship problems? How? From my bank account?!! Come to think of it, I have a balance of about 76 rupees and fifty paise. That must give it away, I guess. “Ya sure…”, i said. The next thing I know is that I have an appointment scheduled for next week!!!

During this week and all of last week, I have spent a lot of time and frustration trying to get a grip on my investments and finances. I am really no good at it. Sifting through all those papers, which look seemingly unimportant on the face of it, I have unearthed some money that i should already have claimed in the years gone by. But not all's lost...I can still claim it. Which means my bank account is gonna get a shine! But now I am scared. Scared that I may not get the relationship manager after all:( Now that I'll have a lot of money HSBC will probably guess that I don't have relationship problems after all!!!!

Damn! I don't want all this money. I want a relationship! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

:-)

The Telegram

2007-03-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

It was the postman at the door. “Madam, Telegram”. When was the last time I got a telegram? I had forgotten how to react to that. Very quickly it came to me…i had seen it in the movies. I let go of my calm and my heart began to pound. Did someone just die? “Telegram?!”, I asked the postman. “Haan madam, telegram”. “Kiska hai?” realizing soon enough how stupid I sounded. After all, he wasn’t Rajesh Khanna who read out daak to the people. “Madam, yahaan par sign kijiye”. I signed. He left.

Cut to…inside home. Scan through telegram. Sigh of relief! It was hsbc’s latest discovery. Their method of credit card interest fee extortion! Very very sophisticated indeed! While the others employ bhais and the like, hsbc uses the telegram! - 5826.32 out of which so and so is overdue…blah blah blah…kindly ignore if the payment has already been made.. – how polite! This after I have received several phone calls and being warned of being blacklisted and not being sold any hsbc products. Blacklisted for not paying interest on annual charges?! Go blacklist! Then they very generously reversed all the charges. That’s not the point really. The point is I got a telegram! Who sends a telegram these days?!

Talking of hsbc, I used to be a huge fan of their efficient and innovative use of technology. It all started with the deposits. Being able to deposit checks & cash at the atm (when no other atms could do that) and the machine very gracefully dispatched the envelope and took in the deposit. Magically receiving check books out requesting one when you’re on the last few leaflets. Then came the security device. The one that guaranteed no one could ever access your internet account. The one that guaranteed that a new number got generated every 16 seconds. The one that was required in addition to the username and password. The one that was required to be tagged along wherever you went... Here I have my home keys, my car keys, office drawer key, mobile phone, credit cards, debit cards, frequent shopper cards, and now this. I really don’t need any additional burden. There’s no choice they said…you can access your account only if you have the device. Damn! So secure that I could not get in myself! That actually did it for me. I started losing interest. I ceased being a fan! To top it they actually charged me 100 bucks a month for back dated statements which took 4-7 days to reach. I decided to close the account. I could not afford having to pay that much for an account even I could not operate! Then came the telegram…

On the one hand they are super sophisticated. On the other they send a telegram! This post is actually about hsbc. Not about the telegram. But what the hell, it was the telegram which got me started!

One gadget too many!

2007-03-14T05:26:00.000-07:00

It’s all too much. Lets see – what all do I own? There is the ubiquitous refrigerator and television. These of course were considered necessities during my parent’s generation. But then, these were the only two possessions that my parents really owned. I have a lot many more though.

Now, I have all the modern day time saving gadgets like a washing machine, microwave oven, the laptop, toaster, hand operated juice extractor, vegetable slicer, electronic mixer and grinder, the vaccum cleaner, the electronic screw driver all of which are supposed to make things easier and faster. What with all these things, one should think that I have a lotttttt of time on my hands. But the fact is I don’t have time. I don’t get time to call my parents as many times as I would have liked to. I don’t have time to call on my best friend. I don’t have the time to reply to all the emails my friends send me, I don’t have the time to wish my cousins on their birthdays. Perhaps, I am now far too busy maintaining and upgrading the so called time-saving-gadgets. God alone knows!

Not just these – among the ‘make-me-happy’ gadgets I own are the aircon, the video camera, the digital still, mobile phone, land phone, the baba adam music system, dvd player, i-pod, discman, another baba adam device the walkman (and a whole lot of tapes), the car, the car stereo, the car aircon, car audio-kit. We all own the same junk and it sits in our house for years. Does it makes us happy? I don’t think so.

The things we own do end up owning us. Is it possible to get rid of everything regardless of value – sentimental or monetary - and start all over again?

I like my new telephone, my computer works just fine, my calculator is perfect, but Lord I miss my mind! - Anon

Orkut – Networking or Popularity Contest?

2007-03-13T01:38:00.000-07:00

I too am on the orkut bandwagon! However, orkut is not compelling enough for me to get possessed or to even get merely hooked on to it. It might be to do with the fact that I am not that tuned to the web to go and check what’s happening often enough.

The funny part is that only a few people I find interesting are on orkut. A lot of them are not (that might have to do with the fact that they have better things to do with their time!). Snooping into peoples scrap book - the number of scraps, the frequency, the content says a lot about the person. More than what their ‘about me’, passions and interests would ever say. ‘Hey…nice to see you on orkut’ should be officially banned! Is that what friendship is reduced to these days – a generic, boring, clichéd message?

I am not against networking per se. I am not against orkut either. I do like the concept behind online networking and it sure is a fun way to meet people. People we have lost touch with and even new people. What I am afraid of, is that this whole rigmarole is very rapidly degenerating into a popularity contest. Otherwise how do you explain, friend requests like…’ I like your profile, can we be friends. Please scrap me’. I don’t even have a half-a-profile! Or the fact that, there are services where you can pay to buy friends! Friendship is rather cheap, ain’t it?

The whole orkut community is a huge party where gatecrashers rule! A nine-hundred something friends and still going strong. Really? That must be three for each day of the year. Holidays included. Keeping in touch must now officially be a full time profession. “So,what do you do?”. “Me – I’m a Networker. With Orkut”!!! What with all the networking there must be no time to do any real work. So many friends? I hope, for our sake, that in our over-excitement to be popular we do not end up having mass murderers or anything for friends. I mean, no one can really have so many genuine friends!

It is really a big circus out there with a mishmash of communities. I am part of some of them. They are there just to look cool! So far, I haven’t had even two rupees worth of good from any of the so called communities that I am part of.

This whole pressure to network (read to be popular) is really hard on some of us. Now we have to make that extra effort, step out of our character just so we can have friends in orkut, who we otherwise would not have bothered having in the real world!
The day is not far when we have a Mr. Orkut and Ms. Orkut! As for me, I am playing with it, at least as of now. The scrap part does not interest me. I can already email everyone I know! I am happier picking up the phone for a genuine and interesting conversation! However, I am interested in seeing where this thing goes!

A hundred thoughts …

2007-03-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Whoever said that? I say, an idle mind is the thought machine! As I sat sipping coffee out of my rather oversized mug, while still trying to get the clutter out of my drawers and listening to Simon & Garfunkel in the background, there were hundreds of thoughts entering this crazy head of mine.

Someone calculated (only they know how they did) that our mind deals with about 36000 thoughts per hour. Now that’s a lot. I don’t think my mind thinks that fast, but yes there are hundreds of thoughts entering and they are varied…. They flit from one to another like some butterfly flitting from flower to flower and they are just as whimsical and carefree as the butterfly. I tried to trap some down but they are swift… A thought diary…..i need to maintain a thought diary. I wish I could have a chip implanted, like professor Kevin Warwick did, to record my thoughts.

You have to be comfortable with who you are….
Look for happiness within and not outside…
Don’t fight your emotions…feel them. Fully.
Am I being delusional?
An idea about what I want to do …
Some past moments in sub-second flashes….
…..
…..

…..………BUT I still haven’t found what I’m looking for!